Behold: Doraemon

I have a very special little Doraemon that I bought from a BOOKOFF Super Bazaar in Matsudo, just outside of Tokyo, for ¥400 (about £1.86), and today I would like for you to gaze at him. Look at this guy. Isn't he something?

There is something glorious about BOOKOFF, a meticulously organised second hand chain you'll encounter everywhere in Japan (and that has selected stores in the USA), but entering a Super Bazaar (that's an extra large version) is even better. These larger stores have huge aisles dedicated to particular goods. I love perusing the toy section and encountering fifty million reduced Pokémon plushies. I love looking at all the pin badges and not recognising any of the ugly anime characters. I love checking out the ultra reduced manga shelf, full of random twelfth volumes from unreadable slop series. It's amazing.

But when I found him, sitting there politely, awaiting my clammy hands, I knew I had to have him. That beautiful Doraemon. And here he is. In my house. Chilling with me. Love this guy.

I've also made him into a pngtuber avatar to use on streams where I don't have a webcam, and quite frankly, he is beautiful and perfect for such a thing. When I play video games, I can be a bouncing soft Doraemon. The world is good. The world is right.

 

Photos I Took at Disney World

When I was four years old I went to Disney World, Florida. It was a very exciting time for me. I discovered Froot Loops and thought they were phenomenal. I obtained and adored a small Goofy cuddly toy, which came everywhere with me. I saw Woody Toy Story in the flesh.

Oh my God. It's Buzz.

But arguably, the most pleasurable aspect of this trip was the chunky kid's camera I was given to document it with. One beautiful roll of film was my domain. I was ecstatic to record the world as I saw it, to express my gorgeous vision. And I did.

We went to Sea World, too, which was quite spectacular. Free Willy had been a big film, still on the minds of many, and dolphins and killer whales seemed exceptionally cool. And then, of course, there were the seals, the wizened characters of the sea. Beautiful wet boys. Much to be seen.

The Mickey blobs approach.

Between these enticing, graceful animals and the jubilant Disney World parades, the sheer height of sensory madness was a delight and a thrill to little me. I was, of course, too small to go on most rides. But there was that Dumbo elephant ride that rose gently into the air and wooshed forward in an acceptable way.

My beloved Goofy.

The most beautiful thing of all though, the major focus of my purest beam of love, was Goofy. My little Goofy toy was pretty much in my hands the whole time. I loved him so. When I look at this picture of him now, I still feel an intense love. Like, presumably, a mother's love for her perfect child. The strength of feeling it's possible for a young child to have for a toy is almost frightening. But, I mean... it's Goofy.

You can see, clearly, that I had an immense creative eye even though I was just recently out of the womb. But so would any child exposed to Goofy and the killer whales of the sea. It's just natural.

A Lovely Orange

Everyone shut up and look at my orange.

That's right, I have a delicious orange. I'm about to tear off its flesh and consume it. But before this ritual takes place, here we are together. One woman and one medium-sized, respectful orange. I hope to find a supreme juiciness within - although when it comes to fruits, orange is not my highest pick. I'm more of a pear and grape lover. Strawberries are good, but they have to be SWEET rather than TART or I will SCREAM.

But presently, here I am with the orange. The zesty one. A fruit beloved by many, but really, truly understood by few. It seems right, in the midst of May, to indulge in an orange.

May you, too, soon be blessed by an orange. 

5 Solutions to the Heat Problem

It's hot out. I'm feeling like an insect floating in a scalding soup. I'm considering building that big dome that Mr Burns uses to block out the sun. There are, surely, worse ideas at this point. But you know what creative and beautiful geniuses do at times like these, don't you? They innovate.

So here are my proposals on how to fix the problem of it being too hot and sunny. Kier Starmer, leave a comment if you're interested in collaborating on any of these on a governmental level (I know you are reading my blog, Kier).

1. Inland Icebergs

Beautiful iceberg, photographed by Jason Auch.

We have icebergs in the world. Floating around, causing trouble in the sea, etc. I think: if they can wander around freely in the ocean, why not on land? We can perhaps entice the icebergs in with exciting tourist attractions. No discerning iceberg can resist going to Animal Crossing Land, which will be built in Stoke-on-Trent. And if the icebergs come here, other cold things will naturally follow.

2. Saying it's Cold

This is an option that might be challenging, depending on your personal willpower and imagination, but the idea is just to say things like "brrr it's cold!" and "I'm freezing". The power of the mind is strong, and many people can convinces themselves of almost anything, so I think it's worth a shot. Let's try it now. Wow, isn't it chilly?

3. The David Blaine Ice Block

David Blaine, the magician man, famously put himself in a big block of ice for a while. Why don't we all just do that? It would have the added benefit of looking really cool and alien - everyone in their shiny new ice block. Plus, everyone you hate would be encased in an ice block. This could be good for us.

4. Get in the Fridge

Honestly, let's just get in the fridge. This is similar to the ice block idea, except we'd be comforted by having various yummy foods for company. A more humble approach, although somewhat limited by the size of the fridge. Small people will get more mileage out of this one.

5. Stay in the Bath Forever

You, feeling excellent in that bath.

My last solution, and in some ways the most elegant, is that we can just stay in the bath. The bath is a wonderful thing, often taken for granted. I say: no more. Lets fill it up with freezing water straight from the tap and live life as wrinkled prune creatures. We came from the primordial soup, after all - so why not go back in?

***

Those are my five top solutions for now, but I will be workshopping these and perfecting them. Let me know if you have any solutions I might not have considered. And have an icy day! 

Snippets of an Old Journal

I was looking through an old journal today (from '23/'24), and I liked how I used different parts of it for different things. There was a stretch of pages devoted to keeping a travel diary (documenting my first trip to Japan), and then a few pages of pencil drawings of hands. I liked that it really felt like a sketchbook, that I had little care for the continuity of the entire book.

That often happens just because I take so long to finish one journal that there ends up being a progression into obvious shifts in focus, and I really like that disjointed feel. What I don't like is the way the pencil comes off on my hands (and on other pages) when I look through a journal filled with pencil drawings, but such is the nature of the devious pencil.

With no further ado, I present to you: some of my favourite spreads from this much-loved journal. A thing of beauty, sure, but more importantly, a thing of life. 

Movie Quests

I'm thinking about movie quests, at this moment. Small, achievable goals which allow me turn my movie-watching into a tickable to-do list. Because that's the sort of thing that makes any action into an incredible accomplishment. 

Jessie Buckley in The Bride!

Early in the year I posted about wanting to watch every Jessie Buckley movie (I'm only at 6 out of 35 - how embarrassing), and every David Lean movie (3 of 17). I haven't completed those beautiful goals, but I did watch one awful Jessie film (Fingernails - a Black Mirror style sci-fi romcom which had no idea how to flesh out its premise), and an amazing David Lean one (This Happy Breed - a drama spanning the gap between world wars, watch it here immediately). This is already enough to make having thought of these goals worthwhile, but I will have to get back into it and continue my gorgeous quest. It must be done.

Sexy old man, David Lean.

That said, I have a new one in mind. Sophie Thatcher. She has, as it turns out, not been in a huge amount of films yet. But she was in Companion, which I really enjoyed. A true "good for her" movie. 

There she is.

There's something charming about her, and I guess it was that first season of Yellowjackets that did it. She pulled me in. And I'm at 2 out of 14. This could be my chance. And then, who? Sidney Poitier, perhaps? Yeah. But he has 83 movies. I've seen ONE.

Well then. Only 82 to go.

I must quest. I have no choice.

The Bunny Approaches

Picture this. It's a sunny day with a light breeze. You're walking through a pleasant meadow, peppered with daisies. The distant buzzing of stray bees can be heard as they work their way through the flowers. And there's a lumpen creature, you notice. 

Here she is:

What will you do?

What will you do?

You will become her.