What's a mothcub?


I drew some weird drawings of a moth and bear cub hybrid because it's always a fun and good time to draw a representation of your online username, I find, but thinking about it I don't actually visualise mothcub as that. I think I like to envisage it as either simply a small moth, or more abstractly some kind of affectionate term. Like, you're a mothcub. Something like that.


I liked "cub" a lot as a child animal word. Maybe it's the best one. Imagine if we called children cubs instead of kids though? Imagine that alternate universe. I guess in that universe I'd be mothkid, which actually kinda sounds great.


Anyway, here are some moths and mothcubs. It's fun to think I've had the username 'mothcub' since 2012.

5 Favourite Songs | October 2018

I missed doing this last month, but I'm back again for October with five songs from this month that have been my big favourites. I feel like I've been listening to some wistful and big, bittersweet songs recently, but I've also had some really nice recommendations that have a kind of spooky Americana type of sound. Let's talk about my top five songs from October.


1. Rainsford - Rendezvous


This is such a nice gentle, smooth song with these delicate, fun, bird-like vocals and a really nice bassy synth running underneath like a soft, wide, wave. Also to be honest, any song with a lyric about running away with someone gets me (I blame Carly Rae Jepsen for this).

Links: Spotify | YouTube


2. Gavin Turek - My Delight


This is a really funky little song, irresistibly danceable and addictive. Will I listen to it twelve times in a row? Yes I will. I think the album art I've included above should tell you all you need to know.

Links: Spotify | YouTube


3. Charli XCX & Troye Sivan - 1999


This is an incredible force of nature and cheeky homage to '90s childhoods perfectly crafted in a way that I think only the Powerline of girl pop sticking-your-tongue-out incredibly online bangers Charli XCX can really do. The combo of Troye Sivan's soft but similarly perfect pop style with Charli's is a dream. And the music video for this is just so cute.

Links: Spotify | YouTube


4. Swimming Girls - 2 Kids


I discovered this band after hearing that they supported Fickle Friends recently in Bristol (they're Bristol locals), and it's no surprise that a band supporting Fickle Friends rules. I love the sweeping, movie feel of this song. Like you're being swept away, maybe into a swimming pool.

Links: Spotify | YouTube


5. Nick Waterhouse - Sleeping Pills


Someone linked me this song in response to a video I made about dreams, and I am so glad they did, because it is amazing. It has this dark, Doors-y sort of sound, and I highly recommend Nick Waterhouse's entire album that this song is on, Holly. It's so good.

Links: Spotify | YouTube


So it's been pretty synth pop infused and dreamy as usual this month, but I have been listening to Will Joseph Cook's beautiful album Sweet Dreamer a lot again, as well as some really great stuff by Public Service Broadcasting, who incorporate recordings from archive footage to create these really dense and fascinating pieces of music filled with documentary soundbites about miners and stuff. On top of that, I've been listening to Rick Astley's glorious 1987 album Whenever You Need Somebody quite a bit, and it is the best. Always.

Halloween Good

Halloween and autumn in general make me feel so happy and right like nothing else, so I'm just gonna talk about that for a while. This post is illustrated by some cute pictures of some Halloween Pusheens that I have. Look at them. They're so cute. My tiny cat pumpkin children.


I don't know why it is though that this time feels so right. I mean, the weather is at its mildest and most attuned to me personally. The time between the sweaty haze of hell that encompasses the middle of the year, and the freezy time that doesn't even bother to bless me with beautiful snowflakes most of the time. Which reminds me, last time it snowed here I was working at a hair salon and there was a little bird that kept sitting in front of the salon by the snow. It seemed to disappear when the snow did. So precious.


But I guess there's this warmth to everything, a nice cosiness. The air gets cool and crisp and nice, and you get to wear your best lumpy knitted jumpers and everything is good. And of course I just love all the spooky stuff, but fundamentally I feel like this is the seasonal time when I feel the most like I belong. And maybe it sounds weird, but I just feel more myself at this time than any other. Everything's pretty, and comfortable, and a little magical. And then all the spooky scary stuff.


Bugs and bats and forests. Maybe this is partly because I've always been an insect fan, and a fan of crawling into forbidden bushes that children weren't supposed to play in. There's a sense of muddy adventure in the autumn. Everything's messy and changing, but in some kind of fascinating, eerie, perfect way.

It's so good.

0 Brain Cells, 2 Dogs


Here are a few little paintings. I'm super sleepy while writing this, but anyway I love to combine some blue and red. What a delightful time I have had doing that. Very good. Here are some bunnies. Look at them. Marvel at their politeness and their tomato red faces. They're a little embarrassed, but they'll be fine. Good for them.


Sometimes you can tell that I have fully lost my mind halfway through a painting, and this is one of those times. Thankfully, you don't need any brain cells to paint dogs.


Here's an apprehensive dog just standing amongst the flowers. Pensive.


And here we have some uplifting messages - this bunny graciously offering you a heart, and below, a star who has seen that you've tried. Oh how you've tried.


The star is proud of you. How nice.

12 Things


Here's a list of things I love right now, just because. Just because it's nice to notice all the things that you love. Okay, here's the list.

  1. small bottles of wine (they are the perfect size for me but also activate the "aww it small" part of my brain gives me nice happy feelings when I see small things)
  2. the Soccer Mommy lyric, "it's spreading through the streets and burning on telephone wires"
  3. confetti machines (I've been to only two shows where they used a confetti machine - OK Go and Fickle Friends)
  4. the texture of pencil lines
  5. actually just the entire Soccer Mommy album "For Young Hearts" (it's so gentle and real and nice, also there is whistling)
  6. seeing the moon for the 999999999th time and saying, just like every time, "wow every time I see the moon I'm really excited to see the moon"
  7. Danny Devito
  8. watching a whole season (of the year or of a TV show, both good)
  9. crunchy autumn leaves!!!!! heh heh heh get crunched
  10. emptying the recycle bin (it feels good, it feels right)
  11. taking pictures of the sky (it's sort of fruitless, but also special, to collect your own strange and grainy photos of the sky that don't really capture how perfect it is at that moment, but that do capture that you thought that and wanted to capture it, which is it's own kind of beauty)
  12. Kristen Bell, who is perfect
Okay, that's all for now.

Mischief Hearts


Here are some mischievous hearts and their associates. What are they doing? The answer is, exclusively, mischief.


There's something that's always very good about painting in red. It's the brightest, biggest colour, and I love it. Love to just have a nice time painting some red stuff. Satisfying.


Here is a dog. What is she thinking about? Probably nothing. It looks like her brain has been replaced by one of those cutesy SNOW filters that put hearts all around you. It's not a bad trade off, really. I'd recommend it.


Here's another dog. This dog has high self esteem. That's nice.


Here's a bunny. Is she swatting away these pesky hearts, or is she inviting them closer, about to scoop them up into her arms? Who knows.


And finally, here's a dog saying "waaah." I think we can all relate to that.

Announcement: I Got a BIG FREDDO


I'm pleased to announce that purpose in life has been fulfilled, as I now how this medium sized Freddo. My only goal now is to achieve a bigger Freddo. A large Freddo. Hopefully Cadbury (apparently they're Cadbury now, not Cadbury's, so that's weird) will soon make a shockingly big Freddo to appease me.


Please survey these grainy images and join with me in reverent celebration of the sweet frog. He is wearing a Christmas hat in October, which I would usually judge and deride him for, but since it's Freddo I think we can allow this indiscriminate Christmas-summoning behaviour. Actually, I'm tempted to remove the hat since it's only mildly sewn on, but I don't want to be rude. I mean, if Freddo wants to pay tribute to Santa at all times of the year then who am I to come between him and his passions?


Regardless, he's cute and I love him. Even if his legs aren't stuffed very generously. It's fine.


Secret Rejected Drawings


I've collected a bunch of drawings that just didn't quite fit in other places and I'm gonna post them here in this discount bin of drawings. Rifle through them, chaotically arranged, and only 20p each!

It's funny to think about being a person who draws stuff online, because when the vast majority of stuff you make gets posted for a lot of people to see, it inevitably affects the way you make things to some extent. I know when I'm drawing something that I'm probably going to post it somewhere. It's probably going to be viewed. There's an awareness of the communicative nature of the thing from the moment I press my pen to paper. It's strange. Like as soon as I'm drawing, maybe it's not just mine anymore.


Although I think I'm pretty good at just focusing on the drawing, or just doodling if that's what I feel like doing, it's interesting to think about how that awareness might be something you can't be fully removed from. Still, I think it makes me happier and more carefree to know that people are usually going to see what I'm doing. I film the process of painting more and more for my videos, and it makes the entire process of making something this more community-focused thing. It's me doing stuff on my own, in a pretty relaxed way, but later people get to come in and noodle around that process, like little future internet ghosts.

I think it's nice to share that process, of the way I move, the way I arrange paper haphazardly on my coffee table, maybe the way I accidentally spray green paint on my slippers. I remember being super nervous about people watching me drawing when I was younger, but now I think I could probably sit on a podium and draw funky-shaped dogs in front of confused crowds for hours.


Everything's just out there in the open. And that's one reason I love sharing process in various ways. Also, though, it's just interesting and I always love to see process stuff from other people. But having said that, it's really valuable and nice to keep some stuff to yourself. I think it can be kinda hard striking that balance when you're incredibly online, because you want to share everything and just maybe upload your whole self, but it feels really good and healthy to save some stuff just for you.


I mean, I love my bad drawings. They're the best! Although I don't necessarily want to share them, they capture something - a moment, a thought, or just a part of myself - that I often want to keep. I think it's a constant question that you have to keep revisiting a little bit, that idea of how much you're going to share. What you're going to post and why.

I think that sometimes I'm excited to share stuff that actually could've been better to keep to myself, or maybe to send to one friend in particular and make them laugh. But there's no right answer when it comes to all that.


It's also pretty fun sometimes to flip that around and share stuff that you might usually keep to yourself. These drawings are all discarded from my pile of "stuff to post on Twitter". They're full of messy lines, unfinished concepts, and compositions I know could be a little better. But y'know, I love them the way they are. This is my brain working stuff out.


I'm not sure if I'd ever drawn a seal before making this little comic pictured above, but sometimes the urge strikes you, out of nowhere, and you are compelled to draw a seal. It's one of the mysteries of life. The great many wonders of this world.


And like many mysteries, I am revealing this one. But you know, feel free to keep some things secret. Just for you.


My Favourite Carly Rae Jepsen Lyrics

Listen, some things are unexplainable in the way that they make everything good and right. Those things for me are the rain and Carly Rae Jepsen (and maybe listening to Carly Rae Jepsen in the rain). So many of her lyrics and themes and synths just feel like they are the scaffolding around my heart. So I'm gonna list some of my favourite lines from her songs. Have I ever had a better blog post idea? No.


Anyway, here they are. I love them all.

1.
You pulled a gem out of the mess
- Higher

Wow, love this cute imagery about how good things can sometimes be found wrapped up in bad things. Very nice, very cool. Honestly I just love to think about gems and orbs. And Carly Rae holding many gems and orbs. That's the image I think about when I go to bed. My fantasy.

2.
Show me if you want me, if I'm all that
I will be there, I will be your friend

- All That

The Blood Orange production drips off this and it is like the most welcoming log cabin fire ever. I love this chorus line for its gentle, swaying, soaring feel like floating down a waterfall, but also just because "I will be there" is so comforting in its simplicity. Thanks for being my friend, Carly, in this song specifically.

3.
Eyes that show kaleidoscopes
- Favourite Colour

I love the twinkly, magical feeling of this song, and this line reflects that perfectly. Carly Rae Jepsen is twirling the kaleidoscope endlessly and we are all her humble and enchanted viewers.

4.
You say love's a fragile thing
Made of glass
But I think
Your heart is a muscle

- Your Heart Is A Muscle

This is so cute and encouraging, okay, really I just need Carly Rae Jepsen to send me uplifting messages and dog pictures. That's what I need in my life, and these lyrics make me think she'd do it. Send me the dogs, Carly.

5.
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
Uh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
Will never let me go
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
Uh oh Curiosity

- Curiosity

Yeah that's right, I saved the best for last. Sometimes you need the sweet sound of some "oh"s. Sometimes nothing expresses anything better. But then maybe I'm stuck on this one because this is the song that made me love her after the landslide that was Call Me Maybe, but before the coming of the very invention of music itself, E•MO•TION. So y'know, Curiosity is the best.

Anyway, just, the main thing is that I love her so much.

Pyjamas Are Good

I've been thinking about pyjamas. Specifically these Miffy ones that I saw someone post about on Twitter, because I love Miffy and they're so cute. I'm a pyjama fan and I feel that we should all talk about and respect the pyjamas in our lives more. Would I wear pyjamas to a function at any possible opportunity and with the most flimsy excuse ever? Yes. Would I wear pyjamas to go to the shops? Yes. And you should praise me for doing so, because I am correct and free in my love of pyjamas, and this is to be commended (perhaps rewarded).

These are £6 from Primark and we are not worthy.

I mean, I'm not saying give me some kind of award and accolade for wearing pyjamas, but actually, yes I am saying that. Here are some pyjamas that are cute. Come with me on a pyjama tour. Take my hand, clutch a teddy bear in your other arm, and frolic with me into the land of sleepwear.

£25 from Missguided.

You cannot tell me this is not business wear. This is the wear of business. If I wear this I'm about to talk about synergy and sell you an ice cream (because I'm good at multitasking, and business). It does feel a bit jarring to see that make up with the extremely business ice cream pyjamas though. Please at least make the models look sleepy and like they have never brushed their hair for their entire lives so I can actually imagine myself going to sleep wearing this. That's the least I can ask for, the least I need in order to make a pyjama decision. Okay, but anyway, I want them.

These are £22.46 each from AliExpress.

These are actually the cutest things I've ever seen in my life, and I want to wear them not only to sleep but also to venture into the forest alone, early in the morning, and happen upon a talking bear who will take me to an alternate land full of talking bears. Yes I'm basing this on a Studio Ghibli movie, and no you cannot stop my talking animal related adventure fantasies. Anyway, I will definitely have to wear this to my personal Ghibli fantasy. Just understand that I must.

This beautiful art can be had for approx. £10 from DHgate.

Finally, I happened upon these weird bootleg Garfield pyjamas and I can't begin to tell you of the thrill that they produce within my heart. Look at them. So beautiful. So elegant. So Garfield.

God I love pyjamas.

Very Good Paintings


Please look at these good paintings. They are of mysterious and elegant creatures. Please respect them and their unfathomable beauty.

Don't try to understand them. Simply survey them in awe and wonder. Accept that you may not understand all of life's secrets, and that's okay. Live a life of blissful confusion amongst all of these scintillating horses.


Feel your mind expanding, contracting, whirling, crashing into a tree, etc. Everything will be fine. Just look at all these good horses.


I Finally Played 'Animal Crossing: Pocket Camp'

Whenever there's a hot new video game app I'm usually like, "oh, I have a phone made in 1632, so I guess I won't be able to play this enticing phone game that everyone is into," and I move on with my life tending to the flowers in the meadow. But everything's different now and I may finally taste the delights of modern technology. Now, I realise that Animal Crossing: Pocket Camp was released a full year ago, but since I got a new phone pretty recently I have figured out that I can actually try it out. So that's what I finally did this week, and it rules.

Me having a good time with a dog. This is the life.

Just hanging out by this plant.

I wasn't too sure what to expect from a mobile version of Animal Crossing. I was sceptical of how it would play on a phone and thought that maybe it was a blessing in disguise that I couldn't play it. I figured it wouldn't be as relaxing or fun to play on a phone. When I got around to playing it, though, I was pretty pleasantly surprised. I would say it doesn't feel nearly as authentically community and friendship focused as the console editions just because it feels a lot more collect-y and level-up focused, but I wouldn't call that a downside as such. It's a different kind of game, and while it lacks the ambling and building sense of belonging and neighbourliness of other Animal Crossing games, it does bring a more traditionally compelling gameplay style along with ways to craft, collect, complete tasks, and level up exponentially.

My friends all love to hang out next to my coffin.

Welcome to camp!

A lot of the comfort in the Animal Crossing series as a whole comes from the routines present in all the little things you can do, and this is applied really well to Pocket Camp with implementations of timed wait systems that in most mobile games are incredibly annoying. In this game, it makes sense to have wait times for all the things that have wait times (e.g. new requests from animals, item crafting) because there are a surprising amount of things you can do that allow you to play in quite long sittings. I can play this game for far too long. And I will. Because it's fun.


That said, the game does lag sometimes, and ultimately I prefer the complexities of the console titles (as well as the lack of the weird loot box style monetisations that come with a free to play mobile game - I'd always rather buy a good game outright), so I'll be really looking forward to that Animal Crossing title for the Nintendo Switch. That means I've gotta get a Switch, too, but until then, I'm crafting the sweetest camp you can imagine.