5 Favourite Songs | April 2018

This month I've been listening to a lot of glittery synth and indie pop stuff that somehow feels like the audio equivalent of liminal spaces, so there'll be a lot of that here, and I think it fits the strange leap into and out of mega sunshine that we've been experiencing in the UK lately pretty well. Please dive into all the songs with me.

1. Fickle Friends - Glue

This song is like magic. It feels like glitter tumbling past you while you ride a bath on wheels with your feet dangling over the edge. I know that doesn't make any sense, but it also makes perfect sense. There's such a nice blend of percussion and synth, lots of sounds phasing in and out to create that inebriated house party feel, and a beautiful lilting cry for the chorus. This one has been on repeat a lot.

Links: YouTube | Spotify

2. COIN - Talk Too Much

I love the bouncy guitar on this and the way the chorus blasts into the song. This is a 'jumping around' song, without a doubt, with a nice little hint of surf and distortion that emphasises the overall tight feel of the song. It's good.

Links: YouTube | Spotify

3. GIRLI - Can I Say Baby

I love the smooth and almost sensual feeling this song manages to drive home through rusty, degraded synths and lots of wandering, energetic blips. The vulnerability of the lyrics blends beautifully with the confident, funky sound, and I particularly love the line, "all your friends have jobs and BFs". Perfunctory, but soft in all the right places, and so real.

Links: YouTube | Spotify

4. The Aces - Volcanic Love

This is a big, dreamy song, filled with build-up and longing. The video is really fun. It has them emulating Heathers with big, colourful blazers and some oddly ominous and distant shots. The song to listen to if you want to be emotional in a meadow.

Links: YouTube | Spotify

5. Charli XCX - ILY2

Charli XCX is a master of understated emotive vocal performance and songs that feel like they are situated somehow around a house party and a glitter graphics website simultaneously. What I like a lot about this song is the juxtaposition of the almost peppy, carefree, repeated declaration "I love you too" and the visceral intensity of the entire song's emotional landscape. Also it's just really cute. I love that it's titled "ILY2" because I feel like there's a particular intimacy to saying "ily" to someone. It's different from saying "I love you" somehow.

Links: YouTube | Spotify

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Bonus mentions go to Lemon Demon for the incredible "Touch-Tone Telephone", Billie Marten for the haunting "Bird", as well as the very sweet and heartfelt "Take Me Dancing" by Will Joseph Cook, and the playful "Fifteen Minutes" by Mike Krol (thanks Henry for sending me this one!). What will I be listening to in May? Jazz? The soundtrack to Oliver & Company? Yes, probably.

You Can't Really Change How You Look

I think it's really easy to get caught up in small ways you can attempt to augment or improve your appearance and I wanted to talk about that a bit. One moment I see a cute picture of a girl in a sort of dress I would probably never wear because I know it would ultimately be uncomfortable and weird on me, the next I'm browsing Amazon for 50 minutes looking at similar items, trying to convince myself I could find a version of the style that would somehow work despite all the odds.

I see a lot of people IRL and online who look really nice, and part of me wants to steal their look immediately, and whilst it's fun to take inspiration from others, there is a part of my brain that I have to constantly hit with an inflatable hammer because it seriously thinks I could change my entire appearance and become A Very Beautiful Different Person™. Which, uhh, no, I can't.

I might be able to style my hair (might is the key word here), but I can't change the growth pattern that gives me a cowlick right at the front and centre of my head. I might be able to conceal my spots, but I can't change the shape of my facial features. Makeup, hair, and clothing choices are all fun things to play around with that can change how you look a lot, but behind those things remains a fairly permanent human form (allowing for the fluctuating nature of age and other happenings that impact the body).

That's why I think it's so important to look at how we approach affecting change in our appearances with a critical eye. We live in our own worlds when it comes to our perceptions of ourselves. Most of us have experienced that moment where a loved one dismisses something we've said about ourselves because to them it just doesn't look that way. Ultimately it's beneficial to realise and remain aware of the fact that perceptions and judgements of our appearances are so subjective, as well as ever-changing.

I also always try to frame my admiration of others' looks as something that is removed from my view of myself. Sometimes I find it strange to imagine, say, a certain celebrity and myself existing in the same room. Maybe because they're so different to me, or just because they're framed in such a surreal way all the time. But the truth is that I exist alongside Dwayne Johnson and Lady Gaga and Kanye West and Dale Winton (side note: I would love to form a band with those people).

It's the same as how I look at art. There's so much incredible art out there that I could never come close to making myself, yet when I look at it I don't feel jealous or resentful, because I frame it as parallel to my work rather than competing. Do I think a lot of art is better than mine? Yes, but I'm not here to be the best. I'm here to be me. It's similar with people.

The people I admire, in any capacity, allow me to be inspired and encouraged. They make me want to be the best I can be, not to change myself to be like them. I think it's normal to have some degree of self-doubt sometimes when you look at and are astounded by another person, but it's good to remind yourself that accepting and appreciating things how they are is so valuable, and will likely help you the most. Because you can't change how you look, at the core, and that's kind of a beautiful thing.

Bunny Blossoms

One thing that can always be relied upon to cheer me up or to make me feel inspired and content to be a person who is existing and being alive is glorious nature, and specifically the blossoms that come out every spring to say hi. I really find myself infatuated with them. They're so pretty and magical, it kinda amazes me that they really exist and litter the roads with piles of fallen petals every year.

I'm always compelled to take a bunch of pictures of the blossoms I see, in some attempt to capture and keep that beauty for later, but also the feeling of innocent wonder and sparkle that I get when I see them. And I guess I can't really do that, because looking at a picture isn't quite the same as being right there and watching the tree swaying gently in the breeze and feeling that tactility (although sometimes taking little videos is really nice), so I thought it would be nice to take some of my blossom photos and draw over them. Turning those happy, fleeting memories into something new that I think also expresses how I feel about the blossoms pretty well.

So here are some bunny blossoms.

5 Cute Dresses | Topshop Wishlist

As it's been super warm weather, I've been thinking about cute dresses. I always love the simplicity of throwing on a dress and not having to wear anything else (except shoes, and I can't personally wear shoes without socks or tights - it feels deeply wrong otherwise). Since I had dresses on my mind, I thought I'd browse Topshop's website and see what they had on offer. Here are some I like.

Ruffle Bardot Midi Dress - £46

I love the colour of this, and whilst I do find the Bardot neck kinda scary, as well as knowing this length could be a BAD TIME on me due to my official status as a short person, I just love the shape and style of it as a whole. It's sort of a garden-party-meets-formal-dinner look and I think it's really pretty.

Asymmetric Hem Blazer Dress - £55

This is a strange one, but I couldn't resist it as a long-term blazer fan. Just throw blazers at me. I'll wear anything blazer-like, pretty much. I really like the asymmetric detail here, and the soft light lilac colour.

Lace Up Shoulder Mini Dress - £46 £35

This is probably the dress of the five that I'd be most likely to wear. I can never resist this kind of skater skirt silhouette (I find it the most flattering thing possible on me), and I love the light colour and sheer sleeves. I really want to get some more dresses like this that are light and lacy/sheer.

Washed Twill Seam Midi Shirt Dress - £49

I love the cut and style of this dress so much. It reminds me of cuts from the 1930s & 40s, and the buttons all the way down the dress are such a cute touch. The loose, mid-length sleeves look super nice too. I want to wear this to picnics.

Popper Denim Mini Dress - £38

My last pick is another one with buttons all the way down. I just enjoy that look a lot, however this dress has much more of a contemporary look, and what I like about this is that I think it would be a great one to style in plenty of different ways. It's a cute, simple piece that could add a nice bit of extra detail to a lot of somewhat varied outfits.

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Since this is a fairly varied selection of dresses, I'd love to know which one you like best and which one you think you'd wear most. I think for me it would have to be the blue lace dress. It's too cute.

Diary: It's Really Extremely Hot

It has been the week of a thousand suns, and I'm proud to announce I've survived. There are more/bigger drawings across this portion of my diary than usual. I guess sometimes you just have to express yourself only through representations of fluffy dogs. It's true what they say - there are too many words, and not enough dogs. Okay, I don't know anyone who says that, but I'm saying it now.

I've been spending a lot of time listening to some modern synth/indie pop. The kind of music that feels like the fast forward button has been pressed on your life and you're dancing with a milkshake in the middle of the city centre. Something like that.

Also: dogs. Here are some dogs. Dogs have been on my mind a lot. I've been thinking about how many ways I might be able to draw them...

Another thing is that I'm coming up to the end of my Invisalign journey soon-ish, so I've been thinking about that a bit. I'm pretty excited to see the final result and have the attachments removed from my teeth. I hope my teeth can handle it! It feels like it's happened very quickly now, although I suppose six months isn't really very long at all (I got them in December).

It's been incredibly hot in the past few days as I write this. It's been nice having a lot of light and blossoms around me, although I have had to invest in some ice creams. For medically necessary reasons. I need them to live. Here's hoping the next few weeks or so will bring me lots more cosy and enveloping pop music, and possibly some slightly calmer weather. And more dogs, of course.

Your Avatar Is You

Isn't it strange how people's avatars on social media really do shape the vision of them you have in your mind? Whether it's a Sailor Moon screenshot, a drawing of an apple, a cute dog, or actually a picture of the person in question, their avatar becomes who they are. Every time you see the person with the dog picture avatar's tweets, you subconsciously think of them as a happy go lucky pup, perhaps. It's kinda cool.

I generally like to use an actual picture of myself as my avatar, but I wonder what impression it makes based on the colours, or my pose? For a while I used a simple heart as an avatar, which I liked a lot, but I wondered if it made me seem like somehow I might not be a person. I'm actually a floating heart, and I've tricked you all this time.

I like avatars people have drawn of themselves, because it's such a nice insight into how they represent themselves artistically, and with illustration you can play around with it a lot. Still, sometimes it's even more fun to represent yourself with a weird picture of your favourite celebrity, or a grumpy comic strip character. With our avatars we become symbols representing ourselves, distilling our essence into one image. When we change them it's like emerging from a cocoon. You're a beautiful online butterfly now. Until next time.

Japan Candy Box ♡ Review & Giveaway | April 2018

✶✵ This post contains items gifted to me for review purposes. ✵✶

Japan Candy Box have very kindly sent me another box of tasty snacks to review, and it seems to me that they keep getting better each time. The selection of snacks here are pretty varied in comparison with earlier boxes, and the box design has gotten cuter too. Check out the giveaway at the bottom of this post if you'd like to win your own Japan Candy Box.

Let's take a look at what's in this month's box.

Contents:

1. Kabaya Puchi Purin Pudding Chocolates
2. Popin' Cookin' Kuru Kuru Takoyaki DIY Candy Kit
3. Kasugai Rose Aroma Ramune Candy
4. Tohato Caramel Corn Snacks
5. Meiji Fruit Gumi Peach Gummy Candy
6. Koikeya Scorn Wafu BBQ Corn Snacks
7. Tomica Ramune Candy
8. Yaokin Umaibo Snack Natto Flavor
9. Pocky Natural Strawberry Biscuit Sticks
10. Kit Kat Dark Chocolate MiniBar

Compared to previous editions of the box, I think the selection has really been perfected, as there is a nice ratio of sweets to potato snacks to chocolate. There is also quite a nice range of different flavours, which probably works best as if you're not a big fan of one particular flavour then you have lots of other things to choose from. I'm really glad to see the design of the boxes get cuter and neater with time as well. They have a new mascot named "Oishi", which is the Japanese word for tasty/delicious, and he's pretty cute (you can see him on the leaflet two photos below).

Two of the items I was most excited about were the Meiji Peach Gummy Sweets and the Tohato Caramel Corn Snacks. I'm always really excited to get my hands on Japanese gummy sweets because they always have a delicious taste and texture, and these did not disappoint me. The peach flavour is rich and satisfying, and the sweets are the perfect round peach shape and aren't too chewy. These were probably my favourite from the box.

The Tohato Caramel Corn Snacks were interesting to me because they weren't something I'd heard of or come across before - puffed corn snacks with a sweet flavour like caramel. They really are just like Wotsits with a caramel flavour, and it works well! I also love the packaging design for these, and I want more of them immediately.

As for the other items, the Koikeya BBQ snacks (far left in the above picture) had a nice, slightly sweet flavour that I enjoyed, the Pocky is always a nice thing to have, the Pudding Chocolates (far right in the above picture, below the Pocky) were so moreish and smelled like toasted nuts.

The one thing I would say that could be improved, in my opinion, is that the Kit Kat is a simple dark chocolate mini bar. This is perfectly delicious, however it's a pretty easy to obtain flavour in many countries, so it would be great to see one of Japan's more unusual flavour options if Japan Candy Box includes more Kit Kats in the future.

That leaves just the two packets of sugar tablet sweets (the rose flavoured ones, and the ramune ones shaped like cars and stuff), the Umaibo Natto Flavour Snack, and the DIY Takoyaki Candy Kit, which of course I am terrified to attempt. I'm glad something Natto flavoured was included, because that's something I've wanted to try for a while, and it's pretty tasty! The rose flavoured sweets were surprisingly delicious, too, so I'm very happy with them.

Now let's move on to the giveaway! If you would like the chance to win your own Japan Candy Box, please enter via the widget below.

Entry is open worldwide, and closes on 18th May. Contents may vary. The winner's first name will be added to the end of this post shortly after the competition closes. Good luck, and happy snacking!

✶✵ The giveaway is now closed. Congratulations to the winner, Jessica! (●｀･(ｴ)･´●) ノ* ✵✶

Japan Candy Box Giveaway

Trying Out Huji Cam: The Disposable Camera App

I recently discovered a really cool and simple photo app thanks to @, so I thought I would do a little review of it because I'm sure a lot of people would like it (although as soon as I started using it I also started noticing pictures very clearly taken using it everywhere, so I guess it's pretty popular already).

The app is called Huji Cam and essentially simulates a disposable camera, adding really nice film effects and randomised light leaks that allow for a fun and slightly unpredictable experience. You can also add a time stamp to your pictures if you so desire, which is a nice touch.

The results are lovely and feel like very spot on imitations of film photos. It's not a perfect recreation, but it doesn't need to be, and it captures the look and feel remarkably well. I'm probably going to be taking a lot more pictures in the near future just because I love this app's look so much.

One thing I really enjoy as well is the app's quirky layout, designed to mimic the look of a disposable camera. It adds a nice element of novelty, but without being clunky or uncomfortable in the process. I've been pining for disposable cameras recently, so this comes at the perfect time for me and I'm going to go take a million photos with it immediately.

Colour & Time

My paint palette has been this inside cover of a notebook for a while, and it's getting steadily more lumpy. I'm really enjoying using the same palette a lot. It's a nice way to see progress and how it changes over time the more I use it. It's good.

It's nice to make the passage of time something pleasant. It's easy to worry about it, but if you frame it in a way that let's you enjoy and celebrate it, then it can become something positive. That's why I'm not scared of getting older, because all it means is that I get to do more stuff.

Spring Blossoms & Fickle Friends

The blossoms and blue skies are out and saying hello right now, and looking at all these paintings reminds me of all the nice colours starting to appear everywhere. These are kind of soft and chaotic and they feel nice and happy and springy.

It's strange how much my mood and focus can be shaped by the increased appearance of sunlight, or changes in the nature around me, as well as something like getting into a new band. I've been listening to Fickle Friends almost non-stop for about two weeks. There's such a real, burning joyfulness to their songs and they make me feel so filled with colour.

Listening to them is like being at a party, right in the middle when everyone's at their peak in terms of enjoying the night. When it's early enough to feel the buzz and energy of everyone, but late enough that the introduction has faded into chaotic, cackling social camaraderie. Something like that.

Like stars and fireworks and fairy lights, but all against a bright blue afternoon sky.

Paper Dogs & Polo Shirts

I used to wear a polo shirt as part of my school uniform, so I've been conflicted about them for a long time, but now I've decided I fully enjoy them. The thing about them is that they're pretty shapeless and loose and unremarkable, but they have a slight air of postal worker professionalism about them with their cute little collars, and that makes me love them.

My reaction when I wear a polo shirt. That's right, I become Vic Reeves.

I think wearing blue polo shirts is also quite fun. First of all, this blue is very nice. It's a gentle colour. Soothing. Calm. It does have a slightly uniform-y look to it, which I like. Just a nudge in that direction, so you look a tiny bit smart but absolutely still casual. It's good, I think. Also, I just like to have buttons below my neck. It feels right and always looks nice for me personally to have a bit of detail there. I enjoy it.

I should probably acknowledge the paper dog now, which is really only there for a nice visual addition. Thank you, paper dog, for your services. Any outfit does immediately look better with a paper dog.

Invisalign Update: 11 Trays & Almost Straight!

I'm currently on my 11th Invisalign tray, meaning I've been wearing braces for around 21 weeks so far, or almost 5 months. I've just been given my last 4 tray sets (11-14), so I should be all set for getting the composite attachments removed from my teeth in 2 months, assuming everything goes perfectly.

It's been a gradual change, as you'd expect, but I realised recently that I've already forgotten what my teeth really looked like at the beginning of treatment. Here's a comparison of my teeth before I started Invisalign and how they look now:

Before Invisalign.

Now.

I'm really impressed by how they look now. I'm a little astonished actually, because I haven't really noticed just how much they've changed. I'm really excited to see what they look like in 2 months. I've kinda put Invisalign to the back of my mind as it's become an everyday part of my life, and I suppose since my teeth look rather silly with the attachments on, I haven't been looking at them too hard. Looking back on the old footage and pictures of my teeth has reassured me though, because it really is quite a stark difference when you look at it.

Call me strange, but I'm excited to bite into an apple and see a neat bite mark. It's the little things in life, eh? Also, I love flossing now. I'm fully converted to the gospel of flossing after every meal. It feels so good and right. My teeth feel clean all the time and my gums never bleed. Dental hygiene is genuinely my passion now.

I think I'm gonna miss the composite attachments when they're gone, just a bit. They're kinda cute.

Glasses Are Cute

I've been seeing some glasses positivity lately and I am extremely here for it, since I remember being a newly bespectacled twelve year old gripped with concern about my new glasses which obviously rendered my face instantly ridiculous. Rectangles? On my face? It's more likely than you think!

I was so embarrassed to have to be wearing a facial bra that I don't think I was even grateful for being able to see. I'd spent a while steadily developing blurry vision until I couldn't read anything on my teachers' whiteboards unless I sat at the front of the class, but this happened gradually enough that I didn't figure out there was actually something wrong with my eyeballs. I just thought constant squinting was normal, for some reason. Maybe my brain got blurry too, somehow.

I only really started to feel positive towards glasses when we started to get some different shape options for frames. Much more circular frames had started to get popular in the early 2010s and I was thrilled, because I was sick of awful, terrible rectangles and wanted some cool circles to put in front of my eyes. The circle, as we all know, is the best shape. It's a fact. And as the best shape, it would also surely be the best and coolest shape to have adorning my face. So I did get some circular glasses, although they were frameless around the lenses. They were the best.

Later, I went for a slightly less explicitly circular style. Rounded, though, because I think the softened look works much better on my face than super angular styles (hence my long-standing hatred for rectangular lenses). I'm glad there are lots of style options for glasses these days, and I'll even accept those strange and questionable people who wear glasses purely for fashion, because in all fairness they do look very cute.

I've been convinced that glasses are actually very cute and good now. Honestly, I'm just thankful to be able to see things. Seeing things is pretty okay. So thanks, glasses.

I may even one day wear rectangles again. Don't hold me to that though.

Spring Wishlist: 5 Light Jackets

Spring is attempting to exist at the moment, and as a result of being reminded that my winter coat is not surgically attached to my body, I can't stop thinking about light/medium jacket options. There's something about wearing a long coat for extended periods of time that makes me desperate to release myself from its clutches and wear a cute jacket instead. But what kind of jacket? Well, that's where the fun comes in.

Since I love to browse, I've compiled a list of jackets I like. This list includes Amazon affiliate links, because hey, if you end up buying something, I'd love to earn 15p. My dream is always to earn 15p. Anyway, JACKETS.

1. Pink Button-Up Coat

I love the style of this. Anything with lapels immediately makes me happy because I am the UK's number one fan of blazers, but I also really love the colour, and I'm pleased by the generous pockets and drawstring bottom.

2. Patchwork Windbreaker

I've seen a few of these windbreakers around lately and I think they're pretty cute. They're very reminiscent of camping trips with my family, and my whole family pretty much gets their outerwear from those outdoors shops for camping/walking/hiking, so I feel somewhat conflicted about stuff like this, but ultimately I know I must embrace my genetic programming to wear this kind of outdoors gear. Also, pink and navy is a nice colour combo.

3. Yellow Biker Jacket

I've been thinking about biker jackets a lot recently, and to me they're one of the most satisfying types of jacket to wear. They tend to keep warmth in really well but also be nice and light, AND incredibly cool looking. The best of all worlds. My number one jacket wish is to get a biker jacket right now, but I'm wondering about different colour possibilities. The classic black is flawless, but what about this mustard yellow option?

4. Hooded Spring Jacket

This jacket taps in to the outdoorsy style again, but I'm a big fan of this kind of softened and nicely tailored stuff you can get that looks like a nice compromise between outdoorsy, casual, and a little bit of smart. This looks pretty comfy.

5. Fluffy Fleece Jacket

I had to include this one because it just looks so comfy. I'm easily swayed by anything fuzzy, because my dream is to have all manner of blanket and blanket-related items be acceptable and respected outerwear. Those big pockets are enticing as well.

☆☆☆

This was a fairly varied selection of jackets, but some types I didn't mention but also love include green canvas army jackets (with big pockets, of course) and blazers. I might do a wishlist of blazers, since I really do love them with all my heart. I hope that brief trend for jersey material and/or super comfy, thick blazers comes back. I regret not purchasing every comfy grey blazer in sight during that time.

Talking To Other People Online: Help

Online communication is weird and confusing and makes many of us question the reliability of our own assessments of ourselves in a very chaotic way, but then, so does communication in general. I don't know about you, but at least 30% of the time I speak to another person online (based on definitely real statistics that I absolutely did not just make up in my head), I'm thinking "oh no, what if this is bad?"

My mind does a quick automatic run through of this flowchart:

And then I am forced to distract myself by eating a saucepan of pasta and starting my 267th playthrough of Pokémon Crystal (all these years later I'm still chuffed you can play as a girl and hatch an egg).

Talking to other people online can be a bit like playing Minesweeper, only instead of mines, what you are trying to avoid is the knowledge that you have transgressed a hazy social rule that has been invisibly placed in front of you like tripwire. However, when you do manage to make a friend and prove yourself to be perhaps not the secret rhinoceros of social ignorance and badness that you suspected you were, it's pretty great.

So just do what the flowchart says. The flowchart knows all. Some people are busy, or not very talkative in certain message formats, or they're buried in their own saucepan of soothing pasta. Who knows. But you should just be nice to people, I guess, and level up your Totodile.

Orange Paintings & Spring Memories

Here are some creatures and friends, mostly in orange and a little in blue and a subsequent brown. I like that mixing a lot of colours will invariably make brown. Brown is good, like dirt and earthworms and mud pies - or wood, cork, brogues, and satchels. Like a walk through the forest, or having a beer on an old picnic bench.

Speaking of that, I feel like I want to go on lots of picnics, or sit out in beer gardens, wearing a light jacket and laughing between small breezes that remind me I'll never be warm enough for that long. I guess it's that spring thing. The blossoms are coming out, and the sky exists, an old blue friend.

I want new spring memories. Parties and broken garden furniture. Gathering friends to share snacks and shivers with, huddled under streetlamps and for one night no-one's allowed to be busy. I miss using up a disposable camera, however at this point I'd still rather take blurry digital camera photos - there's enough nostalgia in that anyway, now that everyone uses their phones most of the time.

Take me somewhere. Where all the dogs are. A warm-coloured kitchen after a short trip to the off licence.