You Can't Really Change How You Look

I think it's really easy to get caught up in small ways you can attempt to augment or improve your appearance and I wanted to talk about that a bit. One moment I see a cute picture of a girl in a sort of dress I would probably never wear because I know it would ultimately be uncomfortable and weird on me, the next I'm browsing Amazon for 50 minutes looking at similar items, trying to convince myself I could find a version of the style that would somehow work despite all the odds.

I see a lot of people IRL and online who look really nice, and part of me wants to steal their look immediately, and whilst it's fun to take inspiration from others, there is a part of my brain that I have to constantly hit with an inflatable hammer because it seriously thinks I could change my entire appearance and become A Very Beautiful Different Person™. Which, uhh, no, I can't.

I might be able to style my hair (might is the key word here), but I can't change the growth pattern that gives me a cowlick right at the front and centre of my head. I might be able to conceal my spots, but I can't change the shape of my facial features. Makeup, hair, and clothing choices are all fun things to play around with that can change how you look a lot, but behind those things remains a fairly permanent human form (allowing for the fluctuating nature of age and other happenings that impact the body).

That's why I think it's so important to look at how we approach affecting change in our appearances with a critical eye. We live in our own worlds when it comes to our perceptions of ourselves. Most of us have experienced that moment where a loved one dismisses something we've said about ourselves because to them it just doesn't look that way. Ultimately it's beneficial to realise and remain aware of the fact that perceptions and judgements of our appearances are so subjective, as well as ever-changing.

I also always try to frame my admiration of others' looks as something that is removed from my view of myself. Sometimes I find it strange to imagine, say, a certain celebrity and myself existing in the same room. Maybe because they're so different to me, or just because they're framed in such a surreal way all the time. But the truth is that I exist alongside Dwayne Johnson and Lady Gaga and Kanye West and Dale Winton (side note: I would love to form a band with those people).

It's the same as how I look at art. There's so much incredible art out there that I could never come close to making myself, yet when I look at it I don't feel jealous or resentful, because I frame it as parallel to my work rather than competing. Do I think a lot of art is better than mine? Yes, but I'm not here to be the best. I'm here to be me. It's similar with people.

The people I admire, in any capacity, allow me to be inspired and encouraged. They make me want to be the best I can be, not to change myself to be like them. I think it's normal to have some degree of self-doubt sometimes when you look at and are astounded by another person, but it's good to remind yourself that accepting and appreciating things how they are is so valuable, and will likely help you the most. Because you can't change how you look, at the core, and that's kind of a beautiful thing.