The Scary Game

 Last month I played an eclectic and quite frankly, intellectual sequence of games, including The Smurfs for the Nintendo 3DS. I was happy then. I was loving life. In the beautiful yet terrifying month of October, however, I have been playing one game only - The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time 3D.

Cutie alert!

 
Now, as you surely know, this is a game of great honour. Everyone loves the first 3D Zelda game, with all its woodsy spirit and chunky glory. And I can see why. Traversing Hyrule is delightful. I feel like a real tiny little forest boy, excited to slam each new skeleton with my cute little sword. Pumped up to smash another pot. Life is a dream. And there are things that feel impressive about the environment - the oscillating, rapid sunsets that make you feel even smaller, the wonderful and varied characters.

Let's not talk about 'The Bachelor' at this time.

There's something vivid about this Hyrule, especially when you accidentally sleep through seven years and awaken to find that you have a new, lanky man-body, and are in the haunted ruin of a once-bustling town.

People talk about how dark Majora's Mask is, but Ocarina has its own delicious sense of death. At one point, Ganon jumps out of paintings on a glowing ghost horse to attack you. He is demonic. I love him.

A genuine weirdo.

I very much enjoy the atmosphere, and the cute and goofy and severe characters you come across (in one area there are a thousand dogs who will follow you at night), but there is also something frustrating and impenetrable about the game. Its gameplay feels, at times, like trying to get blood from a stone. Yes, there are a few reminder systems that make it impossible to get completely lost on your next big goal (thank you Navi), but it's the small steps that tend to feel puzzling.

I didn't play this game as a kid, so I can't approach it from that determined perspective. Maybe if I had, I would feel differently about the obtuse piecing together of What To Do Next, but for me, it feels like an awfully stressful game. I've played with and without a guide, and in both cases I feel a kind of constant pressure. Ganon is getting to me. Where is the next golden skulltula?

Do I really have to get inside him? Really?

The step-by-step of it all feels unintuitive and unwieldy. There are lots of unpleasant tasks to deal with, like holding Princess Ruto over your head as you run through Jabu-Jabu's belly, desperately jumping in holes.

So true.

However, the beauty and tragedy of the world, the wonderfully designed, distinct dungeons, and the lively and quirky characters please me. I like them all so much.

Do not ever ask me to shoot all those rupees for the quiver upgrade though. I can't and won't do it.