The Things Which Are Advertised To Me On Instagram

 There is an air of death to Instagram. A stench. The thing has a sort of growing emptiness fed by years of corporate re-shuffling, the kind of algorithm-tweaking that results in me seeing more autoplaying videos of undressing nineteen-year-olds than I ever would have wanted (desired number: zero), and the lingering feeling that you are walking at medium speed down an endless white corridor, getting further and further away from anyone you might be pleased to see.

Nevertheless, it's still a place full of fun, artsy, creative people, and a place where, more than anything, I will see interesting sketches and speedpaints, junk journal madness, and flatlays of bookish, lace-laden outfits. It's a place bursting with youthful, jubilant woman with Sanrio obsessions, and so I must, by law, remain there with them.

Because of this unstoppable demographic of sweet and strange women with an eye for lace trim and shiny silver hardware (in the handbag sense, not the computer sense), and because Instagram is one of the few platforms on which I am still forced to see ADVERTISEMENTS (Tumblr long ago gifted me their ad-free subscription because of my beauty and celebrity - thank you Tumblr), I am served a lot of promotional material on there for stuff I actually quite like. As an exercise in extreme and highly commendable self-control, I shall review these for you now instead of buying them.

 

ELFSACK

Now, these ads tend to be for clothes or bags, more often than not, and my favourites are always the small and sort of unique brands. Little companies with odd names that fit a kind of dreamy fantasy aesthetic. Like ELFSACK (always in all caps). They have a cool, distorted logo. They have some decidedly mori girl items (yes!!! Muddy greens! Geography teacher cardigans!). Their name is ELFSACK (a sack carried by an elf?)

I like their combo of decidedly weird, more flashy items (see: ultra-long Scrooge McDuck skirt), and their softer, more understated autumnal wear.

The beret they put this model in says it all. A few small steps away from Señorita Awesome, but with one boot firmly planted in the centre of a fairy ring.

 

PUPARI

This is a really cute one. Maybe the cutest thing I've ever seen an advertisement for. They really have me pinned down with this. A very pretty and cute jewellery company that make these fun, sweet little animals and body parts.

My favourite item of theirs is probably this little bunny with a pink pearl dangling from it, but I also love the ears and noses they have available. I especially love that the "nose ring" has its own nose ring. Wonderful. 

ONITSUKA TIGER

Finally, Onitsuka Tiger - the cool trainer brand.

While I'm not a huge fan of these boxing shoes (they're just too long for me), I think their classic tennis shoes are pretty cute. I like them in this green and cream colourway. I also enjoy the kinda strange-looking ballet flats. However, I have promised myself I will only wear slip-on shoes from now on. Laces are in my past. Slip-on or nothing.

This is a promise to my feet.