Googbye: The End of Google+

I've heard a sick rumour that my best friend Google+ is being deleted, and I'm here to tell you that Google+ will never die. In my heart.

I have been enjoying Google+. It's actually the best social media option, and you are all fools and cowards for believing otherwise.

Twitter is cancelled. Google+ is the way forward. These people agree:

Dissenters shall be punished.

Google+ is good. Please don't leave me, Google+. I need you.

One day we are all going to wake up in a cold sweat in the dead of night, knowing all of a sudden that we were wrong to forsake Google+. Knowing that the confusing nature of joining circles on Google+ was simply our own terrible flaw. Because Google+ is good, and we've taken it for granted. And for that, we can never forgive ourselves.

Please. Hang your head in shame. How could you? How could you neglect Google+ like this? It just wanted to make you happy. It just wanted to link your Gmail account with an ever-increasing cascade of new Google+ accounts popping up like new nameless pustules of online identity, splintering off like a tough orange segment that stays attached to all the pith but tears at the centre of its flesh. It just wanted to give you another Google+ page, and then another, and then another, to show you it cared. To show you it loved you.

But you never appreciated it. You never cared for its segmented and shuffling kindnesses. It never had your attention. You killed it. You pulled it apart like a wild dog, torn +1's pouring from your mouth.

Are you happy?

Are you happy now?

Don't forget...

Google+ died for our sins.