Remembering

Sometimes I like thinking about the organisational mechanics that would take place after I die. Maybe this is partly because I love watching true crime YouTubers (specifically Stephanie Harlowe, and sometimes Georgia Marie) and the way they meticulously go through the histories and daily movements of the people involved. I like to imagine someone describing my life, my stuff, my relationships, etc, with the same considered voice. Here's a story pieced together through objects and movements, and other people's memories. I imagine someone going through all the things I own and gathering an idea of who I am. There's something calming about it. What can you make of me through all the files on my computer? Am I an interesting person? A good one? Or am I just a jumble of things? It's a really compelling thought to me.


I was looking through an account I use periodically for file storage, and I found these old photos. A black and white film I put in my old Diana Mini to shoot, apparently, blurs and flowers. Some distorted, cute, and cared for memories, placed neatly into a folder and saved for later. Sometimes I want to burn all these things. Imagine deleting all of your files, getting rid of all your belongings, maybe deleting your memory entirely. Wipe yourself clean. It's not possible for a whole person, but it is possible for files, which is kinda fun. Still, you're always "who you are" I guess, and that's a strange thing to tangle your thoughts around sometimes.


How have I been a person for so long? It seems like everything is always changing so much. Putting myself together in my mind like a puzzle piece from old memories and artefacts, yeah, it kinda makes me worry - am I really someone worthwhile? Can I trust my memories/experiences/beliefs? Who is this weird little person? Maybe I don't know myself any better than someone would looking back on disjointed evidence of my life. Maybe that's a good thing.


Anyway, check out these photos from 2016 - a thousand years ago, before I rose from the lake one misty night.

2 comments:

  1. Hi Lilly,
    I've spent the day searching the internet in hopes of finding a way to contact you. I am an A-Level Student studying photography and I recently came across your scanner images. I decided to use them for artist research and inspiration for my project, I would love it if you were able to write back, whether that would be on here or through an email, to discuss your work, inspiration and the process behind some of your pieces.
    P.s I love your blog!

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    Replies
    1. Hey, that's cool! You can email me at lilashtonblog [at] gmail [dot] com :-)

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