Blog Destruction

I realised a couple of days ago that a sizeable chunk of my old blog posts (from between 2012 and 2015, mostly) have missing images. This was a bit of a shock - as far as I can tell, it happened because I originally used a different Google account for this blog, so all of its uploaded images from this time period were stored there, and maybe that account wasn't accessed for long enough to be PURGED, because when I log into it now, there's no Blogger info attached to it at all.

Mirai from Beyond the Boundary. She's just like me. 

I'm in two minds about this, because it is sad to have all that stuff wiped, and I definitely would have just logged in to that account to prevent this if I'd known it was a risk. I did create a backup of the entire blog at one point (I have no idea if I still have this stored anywhere though), and I can definitely recover some of the images through the Wayback Machine, so that softens the blow somewhat, but in any case, there is almost a sense of fun about it to me. 

Around that time, I really enjoyed thinking of my drawings as super disposable. It was always just on to the next one, and I would sometimes fantasise about all my creative output being destroyed and only existing as a memory. There was a strange allure to it for me, and I had such an excitement for whatever was about to come next. I loved doing experimental little exercises - weird collages, or printing out photos and soaking them in water to damage and distort them before re-scanning them to post. I loved the idea of constantly desconstructing and reconstituting things.

There was, and is, something beautiful about that to me. Sometimes things become more special in their absence, or by an alteration that can never be reversed. A loss can imbue something with more meaning or sentimental value than it ever would have had otherwise. And so, in a weird way, it's all indestructable. If even destruction and removal can't ruin it, then nothing can.

Some info from my former Blogger profile.

So I think it's okay - but I'll be slowly replacing some of those images where I can. For any that can't be replaced: goodbye, and thanks for disappearing.