Fitting Room Focus: Shorts Contest

This was another sweltering hot day and I needed to let my legs access as much air as possible. The solution, of course, was shorts. I tried on a series of H&M shorts (and a dress) like the esteemed judge of a shorts contest (think Crufts, but with shorts replacing dogs - doing tricks and stuff). Here I shall mercilessly rate each pair from my H&M shorts selection against each other. Enjoy.

top - £6.99, shorts - £12.99

First up were these pale blue, almost grey shorts, which I found calling my name right at the front of the shop. A standard shorts destiny.
"Hello shorts," I replied. "Yes, I will put my bum inside you," I assured them.
The shape and fit is good - form fitting and flattering but with enough give to be comfy on a sweaty day when you need to flex. The colour is nice and subtle too - a cool relaxed vibe.
Score: 8 out of 10.

shorts - £12.99

These shorts were nice and breezy, with a looser cut so cool air can waft around your bum nicely. I also liked the cute ribbon part. I think these shorts could benefit from a little more definition in terms of shape, but they're so cute! Their pockets are pretty big and brilliant, and the material s so soft and pleasant. These have to be my favourite shorts of the three I chose to grace with my physical presence (do you reckon Kanye talks like this about clothes?).
Score: 9 out of 10.

shorts - £14.99

These shorts are a bit boring. I chose them for their colour (much more of a vivid dark red than they look here). That was really their selling point, but on inspection I felt that they were a bit too short and kinda boxy for that shortness. Shorts #1 curve in a little bit as they go into the leg with that little bit of extra length, but these just sit there saying, "yep, here I am," like your uncle's strange and unwelcome plus one at a wedding.
Score: 4 out of 10.

Now that my shorts round up is out of the way, check out this dress. I didn't get the price for this since it didn't have a tag, so you'll have to guess (too professional for this world). It's incredibly light and looks great layered over a cute tee (and a stripy tee like this is a nice and easy way to add a bit of pattern and texture to a simple outfit). The problem with this dress, however, it's that it's mega see-through. You can see the stripes through the top and whilst it's not too visible in the picture, my pants where on full show here.

ATTN ALL CLOTHING SHOPS: Please make sure your clothes have reasonable opacity, because things like this are rendered pretty useless when they're unexpectedly found to be showing the world your undercrackers.