Top 3 Elves

I finally missed a day of updating my blog! Sound the alarm, release the party poppers, ready the handcuffs. For yesterday, I did not post. What I did do though, was stream some Morrowind. And it was incredible.

It's my first time playing the game, and while I've played tons of Skyrim and Oblivion before, and so know the rough shape of Elder Scrolls living, this is a different beast I am yet to know. What struck me most, immediately, was the incredible elf choices available. 

Peter, this Reddit poster's Altmer mage.

Of course, the other games allow a lot of good elf choices of their own, but between the beautiful assembly of these polygonal, yet wonderfully realistic, faces, and the sheer emphasis on elf typing you're thrust into right away, I figured why not give you my initial ranking of the Morrowind elves? Yes, that's right. Forget all external elves for now. This is serious. 

Here is the third best elf:

3. WOOD ELF (BOSMER)

Menelras, a gorgeous wood elf.

Now, the wood elves are super normal. They don't have unusual skin colour, by human standards, and they're just chilling in the woods or whatever. It's good to have a relatively normal elf in the world, but they don't intrigue and delight me as much as a more otherwordly elf might, so I have to put them dead last. Sorry guys, your archery skills bore me. Get nastier. 

2. DARK ELF (DUNMER)

Giron, a beautiful dark elf.

These elves are hateful and sinister. They have glowing red eyes. They are undeniable gothic icons. It can't be denied that this is a great elf. They are absolutely committed to judging, and I think they all listen to Cradle of Filth. Unfortunately for them, when it comes to the ranking, there is a yet nastier type of elf.

1. HIGH ELF (ALTMER)

Eldafire, a stunning high elf.

Okay, so as you can already tell, the more snooty and insane an elf's culture is, the more I love them. These elves have the incredible combo of being bright yellow, and being mega racist. They're always talking about their superior genetics, meanwhile they're jaundiced as hell. They look like pee pee. That's awesome.

These elves are supremely pompous, and sure of their own perfection. I think Matt Groening probably saw these guys and new instantly that he had to make Simpsons. Yellowness, as we all surely know, is next to Godliness.

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So that's my elf ranking. If you wish to debate me on it, I will listen sombrely. In the meantime, I will be streaming and meeting many more of these wonderful elves.