Getting Lost

I keep imagining magical, secluded landscapes in my dreams. I keep imagining spells and powers, like I'm Roald Dahl's Matilda in the trees, or some lost Hogwarts student summoning berries (accio blackberry). There has always been some lurking wish for secret and unusual abilities. I'm not sure how to replicate those things or what would act as their equivalents in my actual reality, but it's something fun to get lost in when I'm falling asleep, or when I'm lying in the bath in that strange state of mind as if time has stopped and there is only me in the bath, in a trance.

I still love how the limit breaks in Final Fantasy IX are called "trance", because before that they were just special moves, but this game gave them a mysticism alongside its mythology. Alongside petrified forests and a life-giving, centre-of-the-world tree. A world filled with dreams. And the real world is a world filled with secret dreams. But there are ways to find your dreams and make them real. You gotta get lost to find stuff.

That's why I love reading as many books as I can, especially non-fiction. Even when I can't quite concentrate I can learn and absorb something. And watching people tidy their rooms on YouTube and discuss why they have certain things - I love this because categorising and assessing your possessions can help bring about a fuller understanding of what you have and why, and what you really need and want.

It's a similar story for walking in the forest or feeding birds at a pond. It gives you this clarity within a dreamy space. So many of the things I care about and enjoy most do that. Figuring out things often seems to come from letting my consciousness fade and absorb things passively. Sometimes you have to get lost to find the right direction.