5 Things I Couldn't Do Without Tea

I don't know about you, but I basically owe everything to tea. Tea is my life force, my friend, my confidant. In short: I need tea. Here are some of the many things I would be hopelessly unable to do without it.

1. Have any thoughts

Tea has now fused to all of my brain cells, so I rely on it to trigger any thought processes I might have. Granted, most of them are about tea, but that's fine.

2. Lift a dozen men at once

Yes, that's right, tea has given me super strength and a thirst for blood - I mean, tea.

3. Drive a tractor

Fun fact: if the name of a vehicle begins with the letter 'T' then you actually can't drive it without drinking tea first.

4. ???????????

Sorry I forgot number four because it had been more than two seconds since I had taken a sip of tea.

5. Tea

Tea tea, tea tea tea tea tea. Tea: tea tea! Tea.