My Hair Is A Disaster

Look at this. Look at all this hair. This is the longest my hair has ever been in my life so far, and that's really fun. I love having long hair, but the longer it gets, the more tangly and lank and weird it gets. Granted, I haven't even trimmed it in two years, so I'm not surprised by the split ends, but they don't actually bother me. I'm more irritated by a problem located on the back of my head.

This is my biggest hair issue, and I wonder if it has been there for my whole life, hiding back there, since it's only due to videos and blog photos that I've noticed that the back of my head consistently looks like a very sad, abandoned bird's nest. This seems to happen no matter how much I brush my hair or try to shift my parting. I just don't understand what's happening and I can't figure out if other people have experienced this problem or if it's just me and some kind of chemical disposition I have towards gross-looking hair.

I have no idea how to deal with this in any way other than committing myself to updos for the rest of time (and hey, if it comes to that, fine, I like ponytails and pinning plaits to my crown), but I'd like to understand just what the hell is going on here.

I'm also slightly concerned that the lank and length make me look like a bit of a meek gremlin in general, but I can accept my underlying gremlin-ish qualities for the sake of having hair long enough to make cool ropes with. I do, however, plan to carry out some hair experiments in the hopes of increasing my hair knowledge. I'm going to monitor the back of my head and see what I can do to affect its horribleness. I'm also going to try some hair masks to see how they affect the overall quality of my hair. I'm pretty sure everyone is guarding a secret vast hair intelligence, and I'm going to infiltrate this world. Beware.