5 Tips: How To Maintain A Blog

Blogging can be a struggle, much like eating five chocolate mousses in one go, but both of these challenges can be overcome if you are persistent, so I have a delightful list of strong tips here for anyone who is feeling a bit like they'd rather drink hot sauce through their eyes than write another blog post.

I know that feel, bro.

1. Craft a medicinal balm/blog-focusing spell from one of Taylor Swift's eyelashes, some beeswax, eyeshadow shade 'Toasted' from the Urban Decay Naked palette, a rose gold sculpture of a pug, and page sixty two from 'Girl Online' by Zoe Sugg. Rub the resulting mixture into your scalp so it can seep into your brain and encourage it to concentrate on blogging instead of other useless things like washing dishes or sleeping.

2. Open a new post and literally just write about the first thing that appears in your head. Did you think of caterpillars? Then enjoy crafting a post all about the delights of caterpillars and how they inspire you. Don't forget to make a caterpillar out of a toilet roll tube to illustrate your blog post!

3. Consider every action in your life a potential thing to review. Wore socks? Review them! Ate a sandwich? Review it! Irritating your family members? Review them! If your uncle isn't thrilled with a rating of four stars, don't worry. Journalistic integrity is more important than flimsy familial ties. Get a new uncle from some PR desperate to promote 'cheapuncles4u.com'.

4. Actually, just write anything. Only Jessica is reading, and she doesn't mind what you write. Hi Jessica.

5. Do a bunch of cutesy mood boards of Dani from Cradle of Filth. They will bring you and your blog luck.

A successful blogger doing some successful and important blogging.

After you have tried all of these brilliant pieces of advice you should be back in the swing of things. Don't look at me like that.