15 Things To Say Instead Of "I Love You"

Telling someone you love them can be awkward and inappropriate and weird in certain situations, like when you are near children (children are allergic to love) or when Kanye West is glaring at you from across the room (this happens to me all the time), so I have put together a list of things you can say instead, that will convey the message of love expertly. There is some nuance to these phrases, and they all speak to a slightly different type/intensity/colour of love, but that's the beauty of them. I hope you enjoy the inevitable enhancement of your loving connection with someone thanks to these indispensable phrases.

1. Don't forget to fill in this application form to be permitted to touch my hand.
2. I have seen you picking your nose and I am not quite completely horrified by your existence.
3. You have lifted so many bricks, wow.
4. Here is a rum cocktail.
5. Look at that dog.
6. Let's eat a lot of things together right now.
7. I drew a picture of you and Alan Rickman erecting a shed on Venus.
8. I don't think that is how you spell that word, actually.
9. I am listening to Coldplay.
10. Interesting hat.
11. Yes, I do like spaghetti.
12. You remind me of a volcano.
13. I like Sonic the Hedgehog very much, but you are even better.
14. Add me on Bebo.
15. I am inspired by your rapid consumption of that large sandwich.

Please don't be afraid to say any and all of these things to your loved ones. Show them you care. They are bound to be impressed and enthralled by your unique statements of love. Good luck, love-givers!