As you may know, I am a very accomplished and successful person. Here is a list of all the important things I have done, so that you can remain in awe of my incredible skill and fortitude forever.
Lil Ashton's beautiful and amazing life accomplishments:
- met a chicken once
- captain of spaghetti consumption, 2008-2076
- commended apple shiner
- nominated for seven Duck Awards (awards given by ducks for categories such as 'Shiniest Down' and 'Most Respectful Seed Throwing')
- visited two and a half planets (Venus and Shabubsbcscisljdosidhiuadhiuhasaksjow)
- discovered a tiny moon orbiting Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson, shaped like a toad
- strong knowledge of Hall & Oates
- has worked closely with many hot beverages
- invented the toaster
- adopted and raised twenty-seven dogs who went on to become The Pup Corps (an army division specialising in administering overpowering dog cuddles)
- best pals with three popular deities
- invented a full alphabet and language made up of cute frog pictures
- named 'Best Potato' 2004
- executive cat tickler at Cat Tickle Ltd, 1996-1999
- went outside one time
Thanks for reading my CV. I know you will be overwhelmed and in desperate need of a lie down now, so I have embedded technology into this blog post that will allow you to receive a complimentary pillow, because I'm so nice as well as high-achieving and perfect. Simply press your forehead against your screen for 45 minutes to trigger the pillow materialisation mechanism. Sleep well!
I must admit to a bit of skepticism when I first pressed my forehead to the screen. But, lo and behold, sure enough a lovely pillow materialized for me right on time. In fact, it actually only took about 42 minutes. Thank you so much.
ReplyDeleteYou're very welcome! :-)
DeleteLove you and your creativity. You remind me of Grace Coddington. Keep it up!
DeleteThanks Hanka! :o) x
DeleteThis is an awesome post. I love it.
ReplyDeleteprincesskaiulanit.blogspot.com
Thank you! :-) <3
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