Tiny Troll

Here's a troll. I got him for 20p from one of those tiny mechanical vending machines you find outside shops. He's possibly the most beautiful creature that has ever existed.

This guy has given me some strong advice (as well as ceaseless fashion inspiration), and I'd like to express my immense respect for trollkind by passing some of it on. So without further ado, here is the best advice I have received from Mr. Troll:

• Clothes? Unnecessary.
• Show everyone your bellybutton and ask them to speak into it when they address you.
• Shave your head and put candy floss there instead. Much nicer (and more delicious).
• Try storing gems in your bellybutton.
• If your hair comes off, just glue it back on.

Pretty great tips here, I'm sure you'll agree. Personally, I feel much more powerful and cool when I have a piece of amethyst in my bellybutton.