Fallen Sail / Cloud of Bats

Why does that odd little feeling come around every so often like a less popular cheese on a Lazy Susan? That feeling of missing something. That feeling that there's something I should be doing, or that maybe I'm stuck underneath a huge fallen sail, right in the middle of the fabric which has fallen down around me. I don't really know what it is. It's less than a worry, but it's like a nonsensical stress dream. Those I have sometimes where something silly happens, something that would never happen and that doesn't matter even, but my sleep brain takes it too seriously and I wake up with my brow the most furrowed that a brow can be.

It's like blasting open the belfry doors and letting the bats fly out in a screeching rush. Where are they going? I don't know. They're just going out to fly. They don't have any directions in mind, just screeching and flapping in the night. But really, any feeling can be like that. I suppose you just have to throw your hands to the sky and urge bats to stretch their wings. I guess that's it. But how strange. When did we get bats?

I wish I could have bats for real. Not streaming from opened windows in the side of my head, but a big flappy family near the church who are ready to taste some fruits.

I feel as if everything is happening, but also that nothing is happening. There's some kind of disconnect, like the delay and echo of an international phone call playing to cathedral walls somewhere. I've filmed some things in the woods recently, and it's nice taking the long walk there and back. It's nice being out there in the changing trees and the increasingly cold woodland. I saw a green bird land in a tree above me, maybe a parakeet, and I did this face (:-o).

It's been really great to film some stuff outside and I definitely think it is good, and also daylight is truly the most flattering possible, which is helpful. And there's so much space outside? Wow, who knew? But now that it's extremely almost winter time I think I'll have to avoid being in the woods for a while. It's so cold, I've gotta balance my camera on a tree, and I'm gonna get leaves and possibly bugs in my hair. So you know, all in moderation. But I love the wider scope of footage and nice shots I can get somewhere outside. It's just a shame that filming outside means navigating some way around... other people (who might see me - unthinkable).

But my hands turning red in the cold does something to that feeling. That strange fallen sail, cloud of bats feeling.