Self-Acceptance & Superimposed Cat Ears

It's a journey, isn't it, self-acceptance. A journey through treacherous lava caves for some, where when you come out through the other side you need an emergency blanket and approximately 700 crumpets. With Nutella. It's a medical treatment, alright?

I think that I'm in a really good place when it comes to myself in general - I feel more or less comfortable with my mind, my body, and my life right now. I've gotten to do things I dreamed of as a kid - I made music, have had work featured in a magazine, and I guess I really did become an artist of some kind. So there are a lot of things to be proud of, not least finding little pockets of great community and friendship within these blogging and vlogging spaces I've found. My biggest and most vague goal is to make other people happy, and sometimes I get to do that, so it's nice.

I have noticed, however, that a desire to do and be more keeps creeping up alongside me as I try to push myself further. I always want to do better as a person, whether that means doing more/more intense/more focused creative projects or dressing nicer or giving more time to something that could require it. I know that trying to improve as I go along is extremely important and allows me to do some of the most rewarding things ever - like when I made a two minute long animation recently, or stuff like saying yes to collaborations or holidays I've felt nervous about.

Having that focus and drive is a really helpful thing, but sometimes it's a bit scary. I might be determined to improve and get out of my comfort zone and keep pushing to do better things, but with that comes pressure, and pressure is something to be handled with caution. I love writing new posts, and making new videos, and coming up with fun new ideas, and making new drawings, but as soon as I finish something there are so many other things that I GOTTA DO RIGHT NOW! It's exciting and fun, but I gotta remember to take some time to lounge around in my metaphysical pyjamas, y'know?

I can't want to be a better person so much that I feel like I'm not good enough. That's no good. And sometimes I wish I could be perfect. I wish I could be someone with neat and bouncy hair and a glow about her. I wish I could make everyone laugh over a sloppily mixed rum and coke in a messy kitchen. I wish I came across as kind and cool on first impression. I wish my hair grew in rainbow colours from my head. I wish I was a space engineer. But most of all I wish I could eat a Jaffa Cake, and I totally can do that, so I guess that's my self-acceptance.