Cocoons

I feel like I've been inside a dark, shadowy box for some time and have just emerged all of a sudden, perhaps through a chute. I keep getting this feeling over and over lately. Like I've just now come into existence. I'm not really sure why, or what it means. Maybe I've just been sleeping strangely, or listening to too much weird music. I feel like I've been looking into a kaleidoscope for a really long time. Like I've been inside a cocoon of whirling lights.

Maybe I've been trying a bit too hard to focus on everything. I've been taking in too much music, maybe, looking at too many tweets, trying to take too many cute photos instead of just letting all the ugly and blurry photos happen.

I have been making scans, and I'm happy about that, because there is something about scans that retains a certain kind of spontaneity and blurry, warpy messiness. They sometimes have quite a high quality feel to them, but they're never 100% pristine. They're always in some way touched by movement and wobbliness. That's why I love them so much and feel like they're such a good expression of myself. They're so reliable, yet always a little different and a little messy.

Honestly, they also look somewhat look I'm cocooned within them, so maybe it's a good visual representation of that feeling, or the feeling of bursting out into wakefulness, because they make me feel pleasantly and carelessly awake.