Hiding

Sometimes I don't like the idea of going anywhere. I know a lot of people really itch to go out and do something and see people after a while, and honestly I do feel that way sometimes. I'm a person after all, and I like being around other people, but since I was a teenager I've loved being alone. I love being at home, totally enclosed in my own cosy space, surrounded by something I know well and where I can be on my own, not thinking about other people, maybe forgetting they exist.

Of course I suppose I'm always doing things that are connected to other people even then. I play songs, listen to someone's voice, look at people's words online, or play games that are full of concepts and thoughts and dialogue all put together by people, to represent people or stories. But still, there's a particular serenity to me about being at home. Unburdened by a need to go somewhere and do something.

If anything, sometimes it stresses me out to have to go somewhere. I have to get dressed, and think about what time I need to leave, and pack my bag, maybe look at where I'm going on a map. But I enjoy an aimless wandering most of all. When I don't know where I'm going, because it doesn't matter. I wish I could be somewhere new and strange when I go somewhere. Somewhere that doesn't need a map. Somewhere I'm surrounded by trees.

I want to go somewhere far away, true, but sometimes I think the best adventure is home.

Maybe there's a far away home somewhere.