When You Feel Anxious For No Reason

Sometimes nothing makes sense, we all know this. We're all aware that living means various fluctuations and problems and times when you drop a fork and get really angry about it even though it's just a fork and doesn't matter. Sometimes everything's pretty great and something still feels wrong and you have no idea what that means. What do you do in those situations? When there's some lingering feeling that you can't pinpoint at the back of your head, something off?

I know instinctively that the best pictures to illustrate this post with are pictures of cute animals.

Well, I don't really know, and I don't think there's any easy fix to those sorts of things, but it's so weird, isn't it? It's like there's a pebble stuck inside you somewhere. It always reminds me, for some reason, of the feeling of total blissful and contented gratitude I seem to feel immediately after recovering from a bad illness or painful happening. It's probably my body slamming down the reward button for getting out of danger, but damn does it feel good. It seems a bit morbid to talk about that, but I don't know, it's such a unique thing that I really appreciate. I'm so wholly satisfied with being alive in those rare moments.

I love this chicken.

It helps to have things to be appreciative of, always. And to know just how common uneasy and unplacable feelings are. And to have unexpected nice things and new experiences to paint yourself with - to see something different for a while. Exploration is, I think, a necessary part of being a person. Experimenting and looking at different shapes, conjuring different worlds, speaking a thousand words. All these things are important. But so is napping. So is reminding yourself of good things, and keeping a note of the things you've done. Even if it's just eating something nice, or watching seven episodes of Lizzie McGuire.

I don't know. I'll never know, because this thing shapeshifts, but sometimes it's just going to be there, and that's okay. Float your little paper boat across the river and be glad the breeze touches you.