Why Does Hannah Baker Wear So Many Hats?

I've been watching 13 Reasons Why for reasons I can't explain to you, but the main thing I'm enjoying about it, aside from its bizarrely perfect form of cringe (expert cringe), is the parade of beanies Hannah Baker wears. She has so many of them. She is the queen of squishy, bean-like hats in various colours. She is a beanie master.

Perhaps they're a metaphor for all of her malleable and cycling thoughts, trapped in her head, trapped under the beanies. To be honest, beanies make me feel angry sometimes because I know that if I wear a beanie, I'm going to look like the aliens have arrived on Earth and immediately probed someone who used Myspace for too long. I don't know what this means, but I know it is The Look. Hannah, however, looks like she was engineered specifically to wear beanies. The beanies rest on her head like sleeping kittens, secure in themselves and their perfect crumpliness and pleasant autumnal colouring.

If I was a weak man I would be influenced here to attempt to wear beanies the same way Hannah does, unapologetically and nonchalantly, but no, this is not the way. I must wear beanies with fear and caution. I must wear beanies with the appropriate reverence, and possibly when I suspect rain.

The beanie is a formidable foe, and I salute it.